Supporting Your Partner

 

So I started writing a different post about my parents forcing me to slap together a Christmas list, but the more I typed the more I could see that my post was talking about supportive people in my life versus those that are not supportive. So without further waiting, lets get into it.

I’ve come to find that in any relationship, one of the keys to success is supporting your partner. Everyone wants to have someone support them and make them feel loved and special. Isn’t that the whole reason we want love? To find someone who makes you feel alive! passionate, tender, loved, cherished, safe. Someone who picks you up when your down, stands by your side when your back is against the wall, protect you when you feel you can’t fight anymore.  I am obviously a hopeless romantic.  And all the garbage I have been through hasn’t changed that.

I was so afraid to come out of the broom closet to Edward, because of my experience with one of my exes.  He bashed my Wiccan practice and pretty much scared me back into the broom closet.  I know that religion and politics and occasionally video games can ruin a relationship.  And I was letting the fear from my previous relationship control me.  Finally I slipped up and ousted myself.  Initially he reacted the way I expected him to. He outright said that he didn’t like it.  And I automatically started putting up walls and trying to distance myself from him.  I didn’t want to stay in love with someone that couldn’t accept such a huge part of my life.  We were talking about living together and I’m worrying myself sick because I felt I wouldn’t be able to live with him and practice and learn about my spirituality.  I didn’t know what to do.

But one day somehow we came onto the subject again.  I’m not sure if it was before we had our temporary split or after but the subject of us moving in together came up again.  Now I know people might be reading this and thinking what the hell does them moving in together have to do with her spirituality?! Patience.

During the conversation I came out and told him that I was uncomfortable with the idea of us living together if the result was going to be me living the way I am currently living.  I didn’t want to move from one closet to another closet. And he did something that completely caught me off guard and just further solidified the love I felt for him.  He told me he didn’t know much about Wicca other than what he had seen on tv and the stuff he had seen seemed bad.  But he continued and told me that he loved me and that he wouldn’t want to imprison me the way my family had.  As long as I gave him heads up so he didn’t walk in on me doing a ritual, I would be free to do what I want. He was willing to learn the basic knowledge of Wicca just so he would have an understanding of who I am.

No one has ever done that for me.  Not my parents, not my exes, no one. Everyone has always had their opinion and was trying to tell me what to do.  Here he comes, someone that could easily turn on me, and he is willing to let me be who I am and learn a little to make me happy.  That’s support! That’s love! And me being Wiccan has resulted in me finding a way to deal with my issue with him.  My bf likes the plant. I don’t like the smell of it and so I was afraid to live with him because he would want to smoke it in the apartment and our place would smell nasty.  But within the past week I have discovered two things.

1. Nag Champa incense covers the smell up. I gave him all of my incense cones because my mother told me she didn’t want me burning incense in the house because it smelled like pot.  So I gave it to him before leaving his house to run some errands. I came back and apparently he had just finished “enjoying nature” (as I call it) and I couldn’t smell it at all.  So he’s happy, I’m happy and its one less thing off my mind.
2. Burning sage also covers up the smell. Now I don’t know this one from first hand experience.  One of my intagram followers and his wife (haunthallow and tnicole13)  just moved into a new location and burned sage to cleanse the place.  And apparently the smell is similar to pot. I don’t know how similar it is because I haven’t fully smudged and cleansed a space yet.  But I am looking forward to the opportunity. 

So this is going to be my first blog post in a while and I would love to know what people think!