A Random Post

So today has been really up and down for me. I'm going to do my best to explain why.

So first thing, I woke up and couldn't find my glasses.  And while to most people this wouldn't be a bad thing, I am practically blind without my glasses. I was literally standing in the middle of my room staring at the carpet, when my dad got home.  He asked what was wrong and I answered in the frustrated voice, "I can't find my glasses." My dad just laughed because this happens to me a lot.

Nike: Just Do It (And stop lollygagging)

Show of hands, how many people say they are going to do something and never get around to it? My hand is up! Today after I did my first energy working session (guided by the Inner Temple) I got back into my bed for my daily nap.  Yes at the age of 20 I have a daily nap. I have issues falling asleep at night.  I have two major theories of why I have this issue.

1. I’m sleeping on my own.  And by on my own I mean without someone I love and trust beside me.  I have slept with my boyfriend during the day and at night and I’ve never had a problem with sleeping.  He has the weird way to spoon us together so that his arm doesn’t go to sleep but I still have the benefit of having both arms around me.  I don’t know what it is about having him by my side but sleep is just so much more everything.  I’m happier to go to sleep, I stay asleep longer (unless my alarm goes off), and I’m happy when I wake up.
2. When I take my nap during the day I often have my altar set up and “working”. Pretty much I have candles lit, maybe a stick of incense, and just the various bits on my altar table (which is really a bin). When I go to bed at night, my altar is still and quiet.  I don’t want to take the risk of my mother bursting into my room for whatever reason and seeing candles and incense and “A KNIFE” (aka my athame) laying on my altar.  She is already iffy about my having the little corner set up in the first place.  It makes her uncomfortable.  So I feel a sense of peace coming from my little altar when it is in use. 

But I’ve been putting off any major spiritual work.  And I’m not sure why.  I was postponing before I got sick from my flu shot.  And then as I took my baby steps today, I had a mini AHA moment.  I was afraid to do any work without anyone to hold my hand.  I’m a solitary eclectic wiccan that’s afraid to do spiritual work by myself.  How ludicrous is that?! Then it occurred to me that I’m probably not the only solitary witch that has performance anxiety. With no one to guide you, how do you know what’s right?

Then you have to stop to think about the Wiccan Rede, “An it Harm None, Do What Thou Will”. So if I’m not hurting me, or anyone else, I’m good to go.  And so that’s how I’m going to have to start looking at everything I do.  Am I hurting myself or anyone else? If not, become Nike and just do it. I won’t learn if I keep postponing because I’m worried of not having the training to achieve my goals.  The Gods will guide me on my path, and I will shape my future.  You can’t move forward without taking the first step.

A Change

So today I decided to switch things up and show off yet another side of myself.  I like being able to show different sides of who I am.  There is more to me than just rocker side to me. Everyone has multiple sides to their personality.  Different facets of the same jewel. This is how I see the God and Goddess.  There is really one deity, but they have multiple facets which is where the different names and different reasons the Gods are worshipped.