A Piece of Me Spiritually

So this is going to my introduction to my spiritual side.

I was always Wiccan inside.  A lot of people will understand what I mean.  I felt the Goddesses presence at an early age and it never left me as I grew up.  It just manifested itself in different forms as I grew up. 

I always had a fascination with rocks, and crystals at an early age. I would pick up a random stone every chance I was able to.  Of course when I first started out they were just river rocks, and rocks that people use instead of mulch.  But then I joined the little schoolastic rock collecting club.  They would send me new stones every month.  This club is how I got my first amethyst chunk.  I still have it and I work with it whenever I try to meditate. 

I also had a love of magic.  Not the magic I have come to know now, but stage magic.  I loved seing the Vegas shows on tv and the magicians that would perform at my school.  It just lit up a part of me I didn't know existed.

Another factor, was my love of books.  Especially Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.  Harry Potter was real to me and so was the magic.  I loved it, even though being able to wave a magic wand and petrify/paralye your friend seemed totally crazy to me.  But it felt right deep down.

When I moved to SC, I felt I was pushed aside. I wasn't able to ask my parents the questions I needed to ask and I wasn't able to express my emotions.  So eventually I turned to cutting.  At first they were just little ones, on my ankle and on my hip bone.  And for a while it let out the burning emotions I was unable to express or control.

When I went to high school I met the person who would become my closest friend, my first lover, and my first teacher.  He read the poetry that I refused to share with anyone else and he saw the longing I had for something more in my soul.  He also knew about my fascination with crystals.  One day he asked to borrow my favorite crystals, and I knew he wouldn't hurt me or my stones so I let him have them.  I chose a two rose quarts, and a tiger eye and a piece of hematite.  I parted with my crystals and thought nothing of it.  He brought them back to me a few days later and I could feel the difference just by waving my hands over them.  He explained to me the he was Wiccan and that he had blessed each of my crystals for different purposes.  The rose quarts were blessed for astral projection (a concept I knew nothing about the time), the tiger eye for courage, and the hematite for protection. I knew from this day on that Wicca would forever be a part of me.